Anxiety and negative thoughts can affect people of all ages, both women, men and young people. These are affecting their lives and relationships. This may have started during childhood as a response to family patterns. It could be due to bullying as a child or as an adult, or because of a specific event. Trauma is often expressed as obsessive, negative or suicidal thought patterns which can produce disturbing physical symptoms and behaviour.
How anxiety and negative thoughts can affect your relationships
The mental, emotional and physical symptoms of anxiety can damage your lives by stopping normal, happy behaviour both for yourself and your relationships. Symptoms of these feelings and thoughts can be low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness. Also, the fear that results in anxiety and negative thoughts, can make you want to avoid any kind of conflict or stress. Often this is done by controlling your environment and the people around you .
What makes people have anxiety and negative thoughts
Bullying affects many children and young people and if not addressed can have deep and life-long consequences on mood and self-confidence. Adults can also experience this, sometimes through bullying at work or within a relationship. You can feel anxiety and negative thoughts suddenly because of an incident or situation, or it can creep up on you. It can then become an ongoing anxiety state. This can affect both daytime thoughts and behaviour, and night time sleep patterns.
When to get counselling for anxiety and negative thoughts
When mild anxiety which is manageable changes for the worse, disturbing symptoms become more obvious. Eventually you, your spouse or partner, family, friends and work can all be badly affected. At this point, many people consider seeking help.
In my counselling practice, I have an increasing number of clients coming for help with anxiety and negative thoughts. They recognise that their anxiety is producing symptoms which are stopping them from living a fully confident and outgoing life. Worried parents are organising counselling for their teenagers because they feel unable to help them deal their anxiety or depression. Spouses and partners are coming because they are struggling to cope with maintaining a normal relationship.
Some effects are low self-esteem and lack of confidence. In relationships this can result in you shutting down social contact leaving your partner also feeling frustrated and isolated. Your symptoms can be upsetting, and your negative obsessive thoughts can generate emotions and behaviour which can get out of control.
How counselling can help you change
During my 30 years of counselling experience, I have developed techniques and strategies which can help bring back control for you and help relieve your anxiety and negative thoughts. Some people can experience a major transformation back to normality and begin to get on with their lives again.
My approach is a three-part strategy:
The first part is using counselling therapy to explore and understand the issues which have caused your anxiety, either past or present.
The second part is coming to a recognition of what action you need to take to improve your situation. What can be changed? What can’t? The difference between the two is sometimes complicated. Other questions to be asked are: How assertive are you? Where does low self-esteem come from and how can you change that? Are you angry and don’t know how to control this? How can you change the things making you angry?
The third strategy is looking at and changing the anxiety and negative thoughts which are controlling your life. These can become obsessive or dominating and then damaging to your relationships. I use a form of brain training which is both simple and extremely effective.
What you need to succeed
Many of my clients see much success with this approach and the transformation in their lives is wonderful. The only requirement is that you have a real willingness and ability to reflect on your life and you accept help to take the steps towards change.
Anne
Counselling South West