It can feel lonely to recognise that your relationship needs attention when your partner does not want counselling. You may have raised the subject carefully, or perhaps it came out in the middle of an argument. Their reluctance can leave you wondering whether there is anything you can do on your own.
You can ask for support for yourself
Individual relationship counselling does not depend on your partner agreeing to attend. Relate describes individual counselling as support for relationship concerns as well as other personal difficulties, with an initial conversation to consider what help is appropriate.
Anne also offers relationship counselling for individuals. Her service information recognises that a partner may not want to come, or that someone may feel more able to speak openly alone. You can enquire without first persuading the other person that counselling is necessary.
What could you bring?
You might want to understand why a particular situation upsets you, how you respond during conflict, or what you need from the relationship. You may be facing a choice and feel pulled between responsibilities, affection and unhappiness. These are things you can explore without having all the answers beforehand.
It can help to begin with your own experience: what happens, how it affects you, and what you have already tried. The purpose is not to produce a diagnosis of an absent partner or to learn a technique that makes them behave differently. Their choices remain their own.
Making room for your own decisions
Anne describes individual work as an opportunity to explore thoughts, feelings and patterns, gain understanding and consider changes. That may include reflecting on how you communicate, what you are prepared to accept and where you need further support.
You do not have to decide the future of the relationship before contacting her. An enquiry can be a first step towards considering your options. If your partner later becomes interested in joint counselling, discuss that with Anne rather than assuming that individual sessions will automatically become couple sessions.
Seeking help for yourself is a valid choice, even when the two of you are not ready to take the same step.